MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL

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Well a ‘Ring a Ding Ding and a very happy ding dong merrily on festive ho ho bloomin ho with a bit of Decking the Halls with Bows of folly lolly holly and some root petooting Christmas Love to you all’…….as Mr Blackadder once said.

It’s here at last and both Karen and I would like to wish you all a very merry and happy Christmas and a simply wonderful New Year. The coming 12 months are probably going to see quite a change in most peoples lives so the very best wishes to everyone at this special time of year…..so enough with all the nice stuff as anyone would think I’m actually feeling festive this year……Bah Bumbug I say!

Okay so a fairly  brief set of stories this time as no doubt most people reading it will be struggling to read along with a large glass of Pino and what’s left of a Mince Pie or a cold Turkey sandwich. So here goes.

Our good friend Cameron and his lovely wife Amanda are down here from our home town for a month so we have got to meet up with them and have spent Christmas Day with them on Cameron’s parents farm, and quite a farm it is. A few days ago we took a drive around the farm to see ’stuff’ and, well, we got stuck, very stuck, very very stuck, in poo, deep poo, deep smelly poo. So being as though I am growing a beard and have a Hugh Jackman hat, I stripped off and got to grips with digging the Landcruiser out, phewwwwey is all I can say. Back on the farm Cameron then had to hose me down in the Urban Bath. This is an outside bath that you light a bonfire under and then sit there Robbie Williams stylie, just looking out at the countryside, and no one cares if they see your bum!

Oh here’s a quick weird one, Budgerigars are all over the place here so as you are driving down the roads trying not to kill more than 3 kamikaze birds in one day you also have to avoid suicidal budgerigars!

Now this one is going to difficult to express just how funny it was to watch. We were shopping in Invercargill the other day when after a small rain shower people were emerging from doorways and various places of shelter when suddenly a young guy of about 25 runs across the road wearing shorts and flip-flops. As he jumps up onto the kerb, disaster struck! The poor unfortunate fool suffered a crushing mishap. Suffering from what Police later described as a ‘High speed Flip-Flop bow out incident’ the guys buckled. One flip flop footed foot (try saying that 4 times over), well one foot bent over to a very nasty angle whilst the other foot shot out at right angles and he basically performed a very well executed splits manoeuvre except for the fact that one leg went up and under his bottom and behind the kerb, essentially if one was in an Olympic Hurdles final then it would have been wonderful but he was at about 3″ from the ground at this point as was hurdling a kerb.

To add insult to quite a nasty injury, the only thing to grab at this point was the bonnet of a parked car (which he duly slithered past and shot off) before thrusting out an arm in blind panic and grabbing, yes, get this, none other than a parking metre bollard, but with his momentum, in hysterical slow speed, at full stretch, he headbutted the post! Full on he clattered into and landed in a heap at our feet. As we went to grab him he leapt up and ran/hobbled up the street before falling into the bank with what I guess was a very badly broken ankle. Then as we were walking up the road laughing with a women and her kids, one of her daughters stamped on the shoe laces of her 10 year old brother, and he too went down like a felled tree and rolled straight into a huge puddle. I have never laughed so much.

We met up here with the Maaske family who we met in Peru a few months ago on Lake Titikaka (they are the Canadian family travelling with 4 kids under 13!!!!!) Well we met them at a deserted beach here called Curio Bay. It is really quite a magical place. With huge waves crashing and smashing their way into the bay over the outer reef wall you find on the inside a haven of tranquility. Such calmness from waves attracts breeding Hector’s Dolphins, Yellow Eyed Penguins (about 3000 left in the world) and of course Fur Seals. So as you sit on the beach chilling and getting very very sun burned, you get surrounded by these watery creatures. The Seals are great fun but they get a bit ‘twitchy’ if you get a bit too close.

The Moraeki Bolders were a bizarre sight. They sit on a patch of beach miles from anywhere and for some incredible reason these rocks have, well, just sort of ended up there. We sat and pondered lots of things that could have happened and the simple answer is, as the bloke in the shop said, ‘They just is mate’. So we headed on South to Invercargill and the legendary Burt Monroe Beach. For(Deep Sheep Shearing Voice required)  those of you who have seen the movie ‘The World’s Fastest Indian’ starring Anthony Hopkins you will know what I mean but for those of you that haven’t seen it pop yourselves along to a DVD store and get a copy as that is where we are (and its a treat of a film). The 1920 bikes are in a hardware store here and I even got to touch the actual Indian that Burt and Anthony used!!!! Incredible to think that Burt managed to get 187mph out of a 60mph bike.

Oh some news on the book front. We looked into having the images published in a form of coffee table book with a nice jacket and so but there was a small problem, well there were actually about 7320 problems and all of them were little dollars. Yup thats right. Unless people will be willing to pay about £70 each then the book is on the back burner for a while. But all is not lost. As the quality of photo travel books with a bit of fun thrown in are so hard to find, we are not giving up.

And finally, if you get a chance in addition to rent The World’s Fastest Indian, also get a copy of Happy Feet. (the one with the Penguins), Why? Just because.

Happy Christmas and a simply wonderful New Year

Love

Chris and Karen x

Invercargill, New Zealand, 2008